I Wash My Hands of Responsibility

By now you’ve no doubt received all of your National Hand Washing Awareness Week greeting cards from friends, relatives, and secret admirers. It happens this time every year, our mailboxes stuffed with sincere or humorous cards reminding us to wash our hands to fight off the never-ending assault of germs and bacteria. There’s always that one card that Uncle Rob sends that’s a little off-color, with some kind of double-entendre that makes you wonder about Uncle Rob’s mental health. I assure you, he’s mostly fine. Last night, I washed my hands of something else altogether. I let one of my sons be solely responsible for the content of his current class project.

It’s never hard to tell when a class project comes in that’s been touched by the hand of a helpful parent. Who can blame them? A fourth or fifth grader may or may not have lovely printing or the presence of mind to use the computer to print succinct, uniform text. These days it’s also easier than ever to assemble a project on a sturdy, tri-fold cardboard display. Why scavenge images from newspapers and magazines when a Google Image search is so much more fun and rewarding?!

The middle son, however, wanted nothing to do with parental interference guidance assistance meddling. “Dad, I just want to draw my pictures for my project,” he said. And when I asked him if he wanted to print the title of his project from the computer, he said, “No, I want to write it.”

One piece of fatherly/teacherly advice he heeded was to draw his pictures in pencil before tracing over them with a marker. He even did it with his project title, not noticing that one word had been crammed against the edge of the poster board even in pencil.

I wanted to intervene. Oh, how I wanted to intervene! But Middle Son is determined and stubborn and, as the middle child, anxious to have his own ways respected. The teacher in me appreciates that. The father in me fretted over it.

My next concern, of course, is how his teacher will receive his project. Will allowances be made on the scoring rubric for a project that is so obviously the product of a sole creator (possibly rushed, probably more focused on our new puppy)? Will he gain or lose points for having a presentation that is more than a bit messy? If I were his teacher, I’d be simultaneously appreciative of his efforts on his own behalf and curious about his absentee parents. (But I was right there! Practically standing over him! Riddled with anxiety about what he was doing!)

Your turn, faithful readers. Class projects: How much parental assistance is too much? When is it too obvious? How does this affect your grading?

We all want to know. I want to know!


5 thoughts on “I Wash My Hands of Responsibility

  1. As a teacher I can say that I’d much rather see a project made solely by the student – after all it is her/his project. In my book, that child receives a better grade than the child whose parents did the work. As a parent, I learned a valuable lesson from my daughter when I tried to “help” her with project. She told me that when I offer to “help” it makes her feels like I think whatever she does it not good enough. I can tell you, that turned me right off right then and there from “helping” unless my help was requested.

  2. I believe that children NEED to do their own projects, and as long as they meet rubric criteria, then kudos to your stubborn go-getter.

    That’s the teacher in me.

    The parent in me might have send an email to the teacher letting her know the situation…so she would know that I wasn’t absentee…but I guess that makes the assignment more about me than my kids. Hmmm…what to do?

  3. As an elementary teacher, I prefer to have the kids do the entire thing. The only parental help I see as benefitting the child are discussions to help the child organize his/her thoughts and assistance with things that might be too dangerous (like hot glue). I will also direct you to the following program: Destination Imagination. It’s a worldwide creative problem solving program that places the entire responsibility on the shoulders of the kids. I believe their website is https://www.idodi.org. I highly recommend it to everyone! 🙂

  4. When my #3 son insisted on doing his project “his way” — he worked very hard for days & days. I made a few suggestions and for the most part he tried to heed my warnings.
    Actually, when Lee was finished, his project was very good with his personal artwork included.
    His “teacher,” however, told him that he should have used “technology” to make a more “professional” presentation.
    Lee was in 2nd grade.

  5. Your child did not learn to draw overnight! I can tell what was made by your child, I have a TON of examples in my classroom. Believe it or not, they have their own style.
    AND, they don’t receive as much credit as they would have, had they done it on their own, or mostly on their own. 🙂

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